Er. Yes, I'm still breathing, thank you very much.

*Throws up hands in defeat*
Okay, okay, I'll admit it. I broke my promise. I've broken faith. I've failed. I told people that I'd have heaps of time to blog. I said I wouldn't mass mail, that I'd keep them posted on the goings-on in my life through my blog. I promised to let them know I was still alive, to post pictures on my blog of me and others.

Well, it didn't happen. Why?

I shall here and now make a lame attempt at explaining my silence on the blogosphere.
First, when I arrived, I was homesick; terribly homesick. And the airlines somehow managed to leave one of my bags behind in Dallas. I arrived in the U of O with one bag (the other bag contained most of my clothes, books and barang-barang) and a very sore lower back extremity (16 hours is a long time to stay seated.). After some hours of orientation and documentation, I picked up my laptop from the International Office and headed to my room. I had brought all my data over on 2 DVD-RWs, one containing pictures and documents, and the other containing my music collection. Guess what? My laptop read those DVDs as blank, ready-to-be-written-to DVDs. I wasn't too happy about that, and it did nothing to improve my already sour mood (thanks to the airlines).

Morose and homesick, I trudged over to the International Office at 5 pm to join the other internationals for dinner at the local Chinese restaurant. It didn't help that most of them preferred to speak Spanish and did most of the time, very neatly excluding me and my Vietnamese roommate from meaningful social intercourse. Of course, the food at the Chinese restaurant had to be too-salty and too-greasy.

I was pretty miserable that night, to tell you the truth. I also discovered to my horror that the shower rooms in my residence hall were devoid of any doors or locking mechanisms. All that separated bathers from prying eyes, hands, or cameras was a curtain. And they didn't even bother to provide a hook to secure the curtain. Yes, sir, I wasn't a very happy camper that night.

But you know what? My mood didn't really reflect what I'm writing here now. I figured this out: that everything happens for a reason (ARGH! Can't believe I just uttered a cliche! *clutches head in despair and disgust*), most especially what is uncomfortable. I learnt two lessons through that lousy first day, and I wouldn't trade those lessons for anything. I learnt, first, to have patience and to look for the positive (hey, at least I had my toiletries and a small face towel to perform my basic hygiene processes with! And my mother had very wisely packed 3 pairs of underwear in my CD jacket, of all places!) in a swirl of negatives, and secondly, to give thanks in all situations. It took quite a bit of my measly wimpy strength to lift my face up from the muck of self-pity and take a good hard look at Jesus. When I did, the words of the song really came true. "Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face, and the things of the earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace". My problems shrank in the presence of a Mighty, In-Control, Ultra-Creator God who loved me.

I prayed really hard for my DVDs to be ok, but my lappy just refused to read them. I accepted that and thanked God for an opportunity to rely on Him. And at least I wouldn't have to spend all the time I would have spent uploading and organizing all my data. And I'd probably have spent a good few hours looking over my old photos and crying buckets out of a lonely homesick heart. So it's probably just as well. God knows best, anyway, and I truly believe He is in control.

I also prayed really hard for my bag to arrive, but it didn't for 3 days. On the 2nd day, the airport actually recieved my bag, but inexplicably sent it back to Dallas. o_O I learnt not to pressure people (the indefatigable Eric Leon was helping me with my bag), and I also had valuable practice in the fine discipline of waiting and delayed gratification. My phone decided to run out of battery on my second day, and my phone battery charger was in the other bag in Dallas. To exacerbate things, I had to send my lappy for a PC Health check which, in keeping with the general heat of things, lasted for slightly more than a day. The wait was exquisitely painful, let me tell you, for a person who has been so used to convenient free access to a personal computer. I was cut off, essentially, from my parents. No mobile phone, no Skype. My parents don't do very well at email, and I had no calling card to call them with.

In the midst of all this, I had to worry about my room, what I needed to buy, school supplies, and the thick wad of cold cash that I had in my document bag which I sorely needed to bank in. My worries lessened when Eric the Brick very graciously brought me to the First Security Bank on Thursday morning to open a bank account and deposit my cash.
If my memory fails me not, my bag finally arrived on Friday night. I literally fell all over my bag, so glad was I to see it and its contents. The bag was slightly worse the wear for all the traveling it had done: the top handle was gone, and so were the wheels at the bottom. But it was intact, together with its contents. Delayed gratification really is heightened gratification. The long wait increased by far my appreciation of the contents of the bag: my clothes, my beloved books, my PING PONG BAT...etc.

All that hoo-ha about my bag and my DVDs, and my inability to communicate with my comrade internationals notwithstanding, I have been thoroughly enjoying myself. There is much to thank God for, including the delicious soundproofed piano rooms that are FREE and available for use at any student's pleasure within reasonable hours, my roommate's compatibility with me, the very-friendly people here who make sure no one feels lonely and homesick for long, the salad and sandwich bar that gives me relief from the heavy meat-and-potato main courses, the PING PONG table in the student center, the ubiquitious computer labs with FREE printing facilities...the list goes on and on. Give thanks in all situations. I'm learning how easy it is for me to complain and overlook the small blessings and the thought and love that go into them from our Loving Father. It's so easy to focus on what bothers me and forget that the Shepherd is watching over me and leading me. It's so easy to think of me, myself and I, to get angry about not getting what I want, not being treated the way I want to. It's scary and disgusting sometimes, when the Holy Spirit helps me see myself as I really am, sinful and repulsive. It doesn't take much to humble myself when God helps me see myself as He sees me. At times I get overwhelmed at His love and mercy, at how much He loves me and pays attention to a worthless rat like me. But I have a hunch that that is exactly the point: the greatest gratefulness comes from an undeserving heart.

One of the many new things that I am having to face is whole chunks of time at my command out here on my own. It is daunting indeed to have all this freedom on my hands. My schedule is my own to make and create and edit at my pleasure. Of course, I cannot bring myself to say that my time is really "my time". It's God's of course. But, true to His nature, He's entrusted it to me as a stewardship. I suddenly find that I have no physical person to answer to about how I use my time, no more mother to tell me what to do, no more father to shake his head in disapproval at what I do or don't do. My heart yearns for that now, sometimes. But I realize this is all part of growing up. If I want to be a real man of honor for God, I need to learn how to use my time wisely. And I can only really learn that if I am faced with decisions I have to make on using my time.

Next up is money. Banking is new to me. Recording expenses isn't, but budgeting is. I'm still learning the ropes on that one.

I foresee much more stretching in the days, weeks and months to come, in all areas and facets. Classes are starting to gear up, and assignments will be piling in hard and fast very soon. My mind is itching, rearing to go, stamping like an impatient snorting stallion in his stall. My spirit also stands ready, sword and shield in hand, resplendently arrayed in the shining armor of light.
Hm. I shall have to write at least once a week la ah? Just to let people back in Penang (and Australia! ;p) know that I'm still breathing. ;)