Velvet Paws

The slow passage of time by days, weeks, months and years, with all its attendant experiences, circumstances, persons, and lessons, has revealed in me many frustrating deficiencies of intellect, wisdom, character, and experience, specially in the area of my character, or the lack thereof. As the years fall behind me, close to nineteen all told, I am left to reflect upon nigh two decades of a life lived, sadly I would venture to suggest, so far from the original perfect course charted out by the Creator upon my conception. It is not in the least difficult to envisage the Lord sitting by my side with his head in his hands, wondering (if such a word may be used of an omniscient God) at the degree to which I continue to diverge from his original intention for my life.
How many times have I turned away? If I should tell all my sins and mistakes and fallings away, their number would be the same as the sands upon the seashore. And yet always my Lord has stood by my side, patiently waiting, quietly speaking and pleading in his still, small voice, ever loving, and ever too courteous to coerce me by force into the right way. As it is said of Israel by the Lord, “All day long I have stretched out my hands to a rebellious and perverse generation”, and so it may be said as well of this wretched soul. As I reflect upon the years that have passed, my heart sinks with heaviness as I attempt to comprehend the magnitude of my transgressions, and the immeasurable hurt and pain I have caused to the heart of God, notwithstanding the fearsome measure wrath that I have stored up for myself in the day of reckoning. He loves me, that much I know. He loves me too much to let me go, and he loves me too much to sidestep my free will with anything more than gentle pleadings. Oh, that the full knowledge of the awesome and terrible power that is in his gentle hands, like the velveted paws of a powerful lion, would dawn upon my dull wits, perhaps I would be sufficiently roused to turn from my wicked ways.
My life may be compared to a twisted mass of tangled cords, circumventing, diverging, straying from the straight line that has been plotted for my life. Many sorrows and struggles lie between those twists and tangles and knots, each a pitiful tale of willful disobedience with attendant consequences that have left a mark on my soul.
Oh, the wretchedness of the human condition! We are cursed by our inheritance of that vile sin nature, ever at odds with the free spirit within us that yearns for righteousness and holiness. “For the good that I would I do not: but the evil that I would not, that I do”, and “I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me, For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” Consider for a moment the significance of the authorship of those desperate cries: Paul of Tarsus, eminent and prolific missionary, valiant warrior of the cross, the same who witnessed ere he died, “I have fought the good fight, I have kept the faith, I have finished the race”. How? Is there contradiction in his words? Did he die a confused hypocrite, wracked with internal struggles that he could not divulge?
No! I myself take great heart and encouragement in those seemingly dark passages of scripture. For me, they reveal an honest confession of the daily struggle of Christian living that is not to be construed for utter failure as a Christian. In the space of one chapter, the same author triumphantly declares, “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!” No condemnation. That is the key.
Too often we strive after the ideals and principles of scripture, their goodness notwithstanding, and paint unrealistic targets for ourselves to shoot at with our feeble bows. And then we cry out in despair when our crooked shafts miss the mark and shake our fists at the sky and ask, why? Why do you mock us by laying down ideals that cannot be attained? Why do you not lift one omnipotent finger to propel us toward that lofty goal that you have set for us? And then we break down in desperate sobs and retreat into our dungeons of self-pity and despondency, cursing ourselves, our fleshly weakness, the world, even God. We pine and sulk under a gourd tree like Jonah, or retreat into our caves, into the mountains of Horeb to plead for a swift end to our misery. Such is the tale of many a discouraged and disillusioned Christian, I would warrant. I can attest to that. It was for me, at least, a sorry tragedy that occurred not infrequently.
Is that God’s plan for us? To be forever on a doomed quest for perfection? I think not. I think we would do well to learn from Paul. I am fairly certain that very few of us have ventured to set higher standards for ourselves than Paul of Tarsus. He strove for perfect Christ likeness, preached an undefiled conscience with all men, unwavering submission to authority, rejoicing in ghastly trials and tribulations. How? I dare not admit that he even came close to completely fulfilling those standards. Undoubtedly, men fail. It is ingrained into our very DNA. That is why we need God. That is why it is so important to join with Paul’s glorious cry of “no condemnation!” Failure is not the end. Indeed, failure is oft a harsh, but efficient schoolmaster, provided always that we respond to him correctly. Failure, I have learned, should drive us to our knees and hands, crawling to the feet of the omnipotent risen Savior, to lay hold of his nail-pierced feet and sue for mercy and grace. He has promised grace to the humble, exaltation in due time to those who humble themselves under his mighty hand. We cannot hope to shoot our feeble darts anywhere near the lofty targets of the Law. That is not the point.
May I be so bold as to suggest that, notwithstanding its nobility and powers of motivation toward holy living, attainment of Christ likeness is not an end in itself? May I suggest that the journey is of at least equal importance? After all, if it were so, why would God make it so difficult to do it? Perhaps we are missing the point, the intention of God laying this mechanism, if you will, into place. Perhaps the very purpose of these ideals, these principles and laws, is to compel us to cleave to him. Were we not fashioned for intimate fellowship with him? Is not the supreme good that men strive toward heaven, being by definition eternity spent in the awesome presence of the Most High God?
Would it not then be prudent for us to familiarize ourselves with the exercise of intimacy and fellowship with our Creator, the way being now opened for us to have direct access to him through the redeeming sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ? Would striving after the likeness of his son then not be an exercise in intimacy, since our very success in that pursuit depends upon the degree of our intimacy with him and the degree of our dependence upon him?
Perhaps it is time for us Christians to stop beating up ourselves and enjoy the journey. I find the words of the psalmist infinitely comforting: “For he knows our form: he remembers that we are but dust”. God knows us! Surely he cannot expect his imperfect creation, marred forever by the ravages of sin, to attain to the standards of righteousness that he requires? God is awesome, terrible, frighteningly white and holy; but he is also love, and mercy, and grace, a justice. His paws are velveted.
He invites us to enjoy the journey, to let him carry us along. He smiles at our little baby steps, and his chest can barely contain his pride when we begin to walk, exchanging milk for meat. He laughs with us and rejoices with us in our triumphs. He weeps with us when we fail, and picks us up and gently coaxes us to continue walking when we fall. He is our loving father, our loving shepherd, who leads us by green pastures and quiet streams, who lays a table before us in the midst of our enemies, who promises goodness and mercy will follow us all the days of our lives. Can you not love such a God? Can you still shake your fist at such a benevolent Creator and blame him for the guilt and condemnation that you feel?
By all means, acknowledge your failures and inadequacies. Paint those targets. But remember: no condemnation! Don’t let the evil one bog you down with his snares of guilt and despair. Heed the call of the Savior. Release your guilt and despair to him! Throw off your garments of heaviness and join him as he invites you to romp in the fields of righteousness, to dance the dance of holiness! Revel in his presence, in the light of his countenance as he smiles down upon you, as you strive to attain to his likeness. Rejoice in the softness of his velvet paws as he carries you through the hard times. Enjoy the journey, and look forward to that glorious day before he calls you home, where you will be able to say, “I have fought the good fight, I have kept the faith, I have finished the race”. Then, savor the moment at the gates of heaven, when the Lord shall say to you, “Well done, good and faithful servant; enter thou into the joy of thy Lord”.