Wedding dinners
The peculiar institution of wedding dinners, Chinese ones in particular, intrigue me. The pomp and bustle, the unspoken and unwritten rules and regimens, the many customs, formal or informal, and growing trends of wedding dinners make for a fascinating case study of evolving Malaysian Chinese society and culture.
First, the matter of its timing. It is an unspoken and unwritten rule that arriving on time for a wedding dinner is simply out of the question. Wedding dinners typically acquire critical mass to begin proceedings an hour, on average, after the scheduled time. I have never been to, or heard of, a wedding dinner that started on time; it just does not happen.
Then, there is the live band. Live bands seem to be must-haves at every wedding dinner these days. Somehow, most people seem to share a common preference for live music, regardless of quality, over recorded music. Obtaining a quality act for live entertainment during a wedding dinner is an important part of the wedding coordinator's responsibilities.
Another popular up-and-coming trend among the Chinese during wedding dinners is to have ongoing open karaoke sessions. This, I fear, places the guests in real danger of serious damage to their auditory systems, as no attempt is made at filtering the participants of the karaoke sessions. Everyone and anyone is welcome to take the microphone and sing their hearts out. It's all very well when they can sing, but it is unfortunate that, more often than not, those who participate are unable to even sing in tune, never mind with style. I am grateful that I am yet to have first-hand experience of this.
A firmly entrenched custom is the practice of giving ang pows or red packets to the newlyweds. This supposed gesture of courtesy is in actuality a way for the guests to help the newlyweds cover the cost of the dinner. Only married couples are expected to give ang pows. Since children, teenagers and single adults are not expected to give ang pows, prolific parents are expected to put more money into each packet.
All these elements, and more besides that I may have missed out, make the Chinese wedding dinner truly a unique experience.
First, the matter of its timing. It is an unspoken and unwritten rule that arriving on time for a wedding dinner is simply out of the question. Wedding dinners typically acquire critical mass to begin proceedings an hour, on average, after the scheduled time. I have never been to, or heard of, a wedding dinner that started on time; it just does not happen.
Then, there is the live band. Live bands seem to be must-haves at every wedding dinner these days. Somehow, most people seem to share a common preference for live music, regardless of quality, over recorded music. Obtaining a quality act for live entertainment during a wedding dinner is an important part of the wedding coordinator's responsibilities.
Another popular up-and-coming trend among the Chinese during wedding dinners is to have ongoing open karaoke sessions. This, I fear, places the guests in real danger of serious damage to their auditory systems, as no attempt is made at filtering the participants of the karaoke sessions. Everyone and anyone is welcome to take the microphone and sing their hearts out. It's all very well when they can sing, but it is unfortunate that, more often than not, those who participate are unable to even sing in tune, never mind with style. I am grateful that I am yet to have first-hand experience of this.
A firmly entrenched custom is the practice of giving ang pows or red packets to the newlyweds. This supposed gesture of courtesy is in actuality a way for the guests to help the newlyweds cover the cost of the dinner. Only married couples are expected to give ang pows. Since children, teenagers and single adults are not expected to give ang pows, prolific parents are expected to put more money into each packet.
All these elements, and more besides that I may have missed out, make the Chinese wedding dinner truly a unique experience.
posted by Joel Chan at
1:40 AM
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